Have
you ever wondered what makes the office dragon-lady the way she is? Did you ever stop to consider why some people
are lovely to know socially, but are workplace tyrants when they’re in charge
of a team?
It
could have something to do with their limited repertoire of behaviours in the
face of frustration.
Leaders’
behaviour has a much greater impact on the members of a team than any other
single person on the team. Every
behaviour the leader gets even slightly wrong is magnified in its impact on the
team. Yet we have the responsibility of
keeping everything and everyone on track.
If things are not moving quickly enough, or members of the team are not
cooperating, it is so easy to become either too aggressive or too passive,
either of which could threaten the cohesion of the team.
What is
the answer to this dilemma?
The
leader has to recognise that he/she is responsible for his/her own behaviour
and thoughts. Most teams will forgive a rare
expression on frustration but, beyond this, the leader must be in control of
him/herself all the time.
The
dragon-lady and workplace tyrant have yet to learn this lesson. They have not learned to express their
opinion, get what they want and move the team forward without resorting to abusive
techniques.
In a
frustrating situation there are essentially three behaviour styles that a
leader can adopt; passive, aggressive or assertive.
The
Aggressive Leader
The aggressive leader is the one that gets her way
without respecting the opinions and feelings of her team members. She may
indulge in some extreme behaviour such as shouting, screaming or table
banging. She will generally display
non-verbals that are closed, contemptuous and hard. She is the kind of person that a team member
is not likely to approach for advice or guidance. The key characteristic of her relationship
with her team members is fear.
This leadership style does not provide an environment
for open communication, creating the probability of vital information not being
transferred, de-motivation of team members and strained workplace relationships,
all of which results in lower productivity and “soldiering”.
The
Submissive Leader
The submissive leader is the one that gives way to
the opinions and feeling of her team members and has little regard for her own. She avoids conflict and so she often has to
resort to manipulative ways to get the job done. It is not uncommon for her to get caught up
in playing favourites and using back door methods to progress the work of the
team. Her workplace is often
characterised by bitchiness and back stabbing.
She provides no emotional safety for the team members. She is usually seen as a “peace at any price”
kind of boss, and the domineering members of the team tend to step into the
power vacuum and take over.
The
Assertive Leader
The assertive leader is able to issue instructions
and directions while at the same time respecting the feelings and the opinions
of her team members.
Fundamental to her belief system is the premise that
everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy and respect, and she uses the
basic tools of politeness and patience combined with good listening skills and
creative problem solving. She is willing
to compromise on some less important things so that she can “win” the important
issues.
She finds that, as she treats her subordinates with
respect, they tend to give cooperation in return. Though her methods might be slower (in that
she takes time to win trust and confidence), in the long term her team is more
effective and efficient.
What kind of leader would your team members say you
are?
(Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
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