19 August 2012

No more dragon-ladies - Please!



Have you ever wondered what makes the office dragon-lady the way she is?  Did you ever stop to consider why some people are lovely to know socially, but are workplace tyrants when they’re in charge of a team? 

It could have something to do with their limited repertoire of behaviours in the face of frustration.  

Leaders’ behaviour has a much greater impact on the members of a team than any other single person on the team.  Every behaviour the leader gets even slightly wrong is magnified in its impact on the team.  Yet we have the responsibility of keeping everything and everyone on track.  If things are not moving quickly enough, or members of the team are not cooperating, it is so easy to become either too aggressive or too passive, either of which could threaten the cohesion of the team. 

What is the answer to this dilemma? 

The leader has to recognise that he/she is responsible for his/her own behaviour and thoughts.  Most teams will forgive a rare expression on frustration but, beyond this, the leader must be in control of him/herself all the time.

The dragon-lady and workplace tyrant have yet to learn this lesson.  They have not learned to express their opinion, get what they want and move the team forward without resorting to abusive techniques. 

In a frustrating situation there are essentially three behaviour styles that a leader can adopt; passive, aggressive or assertive. 

The Aggressive Leader

The aggressive leader is the one that gets her way without respecting the opinions and feelings of her team members. She may indulge in some extreme behaviour such as shouting, screaming or table banging.  She will generally display non-verbals that are closed, contemptuous and hard.  She is the kind of person that a team member is not likely to approach for advice or guidance.  The key characteristic of her relationship with her team members is fear.

This leadership style does not provide an environment for open communication, creating the probability of vital information not being transferred, de-motivation of team members and strained workplace relationships, all of which results in lower productivity and “soldiering”.


The Submissive Leader

The submissive leader is the one that gives way to the opinions and feeling of her team members and has little regard for her own.  She avoids conflict and so she often has to resort to manipulative ways to get the job done.  It is not uncommon for her to get caught up in playing favourites and using back door methods to progress the work of the team.  Her workplace is often characterised by bitchiness and back stabbing.  She provides no emotional safety for the team members.  She is usually seen as a “peace at any price” kind of boss, and the domineering members of the team tend to step into the power vacuum and take over. 

The Assertive Leader

The assertive leader is able to issue instructions and directions while at the same time respecting the feelings and the opinions of her team members. 

Fundamental to her belief system is the premise that everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy and respect, and she uses the basic tools of politeness and patience combined with good listening skills and creative problem solving.  She is willing to compromise on some less important things so that she can “win” the important issues. 

She finds that, as she treats her subordinates with respect, they tend to give cooperation in return.  Though her methods might be slower (in that she takes time to win trust and confidence), in the long term her team is more effective and efficient. 

What kind of leader would your team members say you are?  

(Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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